I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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