sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
