Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
