I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
