He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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