I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
