i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
