i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
