So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
