oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
