Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
