Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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