Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
