My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
