I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
