dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
