I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
