Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
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