I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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