I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
