you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
