she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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