She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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