Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
