That's intense
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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