watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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