Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
