Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
