hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
