i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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