I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
