Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So vagazzling was a success
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
