I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
