You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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