Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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