Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Also, beer. Big fan.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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