Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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