Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
