how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
