8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
