i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
