At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
