I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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