"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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