have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
