listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
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