seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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