idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
