Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
