Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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