There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
