It's just like the Real World with babies
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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