oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
