Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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