New low: just hacked my moms facebook
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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