A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
