No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm bleeding and have questions
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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