North Korea, Best Korea!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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