Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
