How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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