hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the condom got lost in my hair
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
